This morning we lost Baira. She went off her food again and still had not had a bowel movement. Went to the vet (as was scheduled) and she suspected either....

1. that something else was in there
2. that her bowel was twisted
3. the obstruction and surgery had damaged her to a point that her system was no longer functioning properly because what they took out was HUGE and it had been in there for over 2 weeks.

We had a million questions. Another x-ray was done with contrast but it showed nothing. Her stomach and bowel were packed full of gas (which idicates a problem).

The vet said she could open her up again to "investigate" but would probably find nothing and would just cause more problems.

She was in pain and uncomfortable which is a common occurance with her as she's always eaten something. Alot of the time it passes, sometimes with vet assistance but i've worked it out at being every other month. The wood from the fence, stones, her collar, her bedding, sticks/branches from the bush, just anything.

She has always been a very timid, fretfull dog and we didn't want her to go through the stress of more surgery and another 2 weeks of vets visits when we know it stresses her out so much. She hasn't coped with it very well. She didn't deal with recovering after she was spay very well either. Plus the surgery was not going to fix the long term problem of her eating things she shouldn't and there was a very high possibility that we'd be in the same situation again in 6 months. As carefull as we are to pick things up, some things get missed and I also have a young daughter who forgets to pick things up.

I called 2 friends, my mum in New Zealand and my sister in the UK for reassurance that I was doing the right thing.

We were there for over 2 hours but decided to have her put to sleep.

I am numb.

I'm so very sorry for what you've all gone through and the decision that you had to make this morning - it's the ultimate act of kindness to let them go when they're suffering.  My heart's breaking for you all x

I am so sorry for your loss, my heart breaks for you!

I am so very sorry.  Thinking of you and your family.

Roz

 I'm SO sorry for your loss.  I am crying tears for your loss.  I know your numbness.   You were faced with a horrible decision, and yet ultimately a decision that was in the best intrest of your baby.   It's a super hard decision that unfortunately  almost all pet owners are faced with sooner or later.   We had to put to sleep our Chocolate lab in January for what we "thought" was an obstruction caused by something she ate, as she too was very fretful and nervous.  She often ate socks, underwear, corners of blankets, wood, pillow cases, you name it.  One week after a bad storm, she developed a horrible stomach problem and wouldn't move.  We took her to the vet, and the vet told us they needed to do surgery right away for an obstruction.  I wasn't convinced however that  it was an obstruction because she  was eating, wasn't vomiting, and she was passing stool.  I deferred the surgery for 1 week and told the vet I would re-evaluate then.  We went back 1 week later, no change in her pain level, but nothing else had changed.  She still ate, no vomiting, and normal stool. She was simply in an unbelievable amount of pain.  It was finally determined after another x-ray and palpation that she had a tumor.  She was 10.  We decided right away to put her to sleep, but we had been thinking of the possibility all week long, so we had more time to process things.  It was the hardest things I've ever done. 

Know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this time. Hugs.  

I am so sorry, she was so lovely and it must have been such a terrible decision and shock.  It will be 2 years tomorrow that I found my sweetie-boo Jasper dead and I can still tear up about it.   You will have to give Leos (isn't that right?) extra hugs for a while--he will have to absorb the extra love.

 Keanmu, yes, it is so difficult.  The guilt is the one thing that is unanimously present in every situation, no matter what takes place, or what decisions we make.   Everyone deals with grief differently, some want to get another pup right away, and others can't fathom the idea!   Nothing to feel guilty about......yet, I know that doesn't help either!  Nothing  helps when the heart aches so badly.

You mentioned the collar, and your daughter.  Our lab was actually my daughter's dog.  We got Abby when she my daughter was 7. She is now 17.  She did the sweetest thing.....I was actually jealous!......If you have tags from her collar with your beloved baby's name on it, your daughter can make a necklace with it, or a charm bracelet.  My daughter actually put the tags on her key chain.   I actually want to have new tags made with her picture and her date of birth and death on them and put them on my key chain.  I thought that was an excellent, creative idea invented by my daughter!

Another thing that actually helped tremendously, although not always practical, was to get away for a few days.   I called work, made arrangements, and escaped to my parent's house.  My husband stayed home!   During this time, I did extensive searching on the greiving process, and chatted with others who had recently lost their best furry friends.   I chatted with vets, friends, you tube people I didn't know, etc.  It really, really helped.  We were gone for 7 full days and needed every bit of those 7 days..and then some.

Again, my prayers and thoughts are with you.  It has not been a year yet, and  I can remember the pain, numbness, emptiness, and weird stomach in the throat feeling like it was yesterday.  It is still so present, but it does get easier day by day.