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Pointer Fan
Westminster, Colorado
MH
Posts:954
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| 11/05/2007 7:27 AM |
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Got this from a friend today.
To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.
Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king-sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -- canine or feline attendance is not required.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!
To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:
To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3 Are easier to train (except Terriers and Shih T zus)
4. Normally come when called (except Huskies who do whatever they want)
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't want to wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and...
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children
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mit
Harleysville, PA
MH
Posts:599
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| 11/05/2007 7:55 AM |
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| cute. thanks for that, it put a smile on my face on a busy Monday morning |
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Ace1cappuccino
Carp Lake, Michigan
MH
Posts:1618
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| 11/06/2007 9:53 AM |
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| How true! |
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Cornell's GSP'S- Mocha cappuccino, Lili Belle Lotte, Sir Leopold Vom Hunter 1, Lil Miss Lotte Doddi, Ace Hunter Twisted Mister(GSP'S)  
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kdvollmer
JH
Posts:20
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| 11/13/2007 7:22 AM |
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| Kinda funny how close we are all related here through personal friends. I have received that very email from 3-4 people that I know in the last 2 weeks. Seems that someway, somehow, we all have some common friends out there.... |
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Pointer Fan
Westminster, Colorado
MH
Posts:954
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| 11/13/2007 8:53 AM |
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| Ace1cappuccino commented once about it being a big pointer family. Think how much fun Thanksgiving would be if we could all get together with our dogs for dinner. There would not be any leftovers for sure. |
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Marie
Wisconsin
MH
Posts:2721
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| 11/13/2007 8:55 AM |
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| Love the" fur" niture part when we have visitors in our home.. Also the gazillion dollars for college. I had years of paying DOUBLE college tuitions. And yes when I went to work during that time of sending our 2 son's off to college. I told my fellow employees." I am working for the UW Stevens Point and UW Lacrosse {:" |
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Marie and Rocky, a tall, high energy GSP
http://i845.photobucket.com/albums/ab18/Annette_Merryfield/100_0285.jpg?t=1287205231 |
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everbell
Kanata, ON
MH
Posts:3166
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| 11/16/2007 11:21 AM |
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Continuing on the joke theme ...
Golden Retriever:
The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid light bulb?
Border Collie:
Just One. And then I'll replace all the wiring that's not up to code.
Dachshund:
You know I can't reach the stupid lamp.
Rottweiler:
Make Me.
Boxer:
Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
Lab:
Oh, Me, Me!!!! PLEEEEEEZE Let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I?
Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? PLEEEEEEEZE, Please, Please?!?
German Shepard:
I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.
Jack Russell Terrier:
I'll just pop it in while I am bouncing off the walls and the furniture.
Old English Sheep Dog:
Light bulb? I'm sorry, I don't see a light bulb?
Cocker Spaniel:
Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
Chihuahua:
Yo Quiero Taco Bulb.
Pointer:
I see it, there it is, there it is, right there...
Greyhound:
It isn't moving. Who cares?
Australian Shepard:
First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...
Poodle:
I'll just blow in the Border Collies ear, and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
THE CAT:
* Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So the real question is how long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?
ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE MASTERS, CATS HAVE STAFF... |
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Joce and Rich
Bogart and Shiraz (GSPs)
Roxane (RIP: 1995-2009) and Tiger Lily (Cats)
The Everbell Adventures |
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