cynthiarose
COLORADO
MH
Posts:133
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| 12/26/2012 11:34 AM |
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I hope everyone had a fabulous holiday!
I couldn't think of a good title for this thread, and it's rather random, but I wanted to share what my last week has been like.
Mike and I discussed getting another dog so Havoc would have a playmate at home. We decided against it until we can move into a bigger place and have a decent yard. Well, my brother temporarily moved in last Tuesday, along with his two puppies- a 12 week old lab/rottie mix, and a 9 month old malamute/shepard mix. It's been a rough adjustment, especially since last Thursday a pipe burst in my basement and now all 3 dogs and 3 people are confined to about 800sq ft of my house.
I am going bonkers after the last week of cleaning up puppy messes (potty accidents, chewed up things, etc). Mike and I didn't think Havoc was a "bad" puppy, but a definite handful.... after the last week I have decided that Havoc was an angel of a puppy. In 11 months he's really only destroyed 2 things that weren't his, potty training was a breeze and he has been very trainable- especially in the last 2 months.
Our christmas tree survived Havoc without incident, but day one of my brothers stay... well we'll just say it did not survive his puppies- and a couple of presents fell victim as well.
I'm having a terrible time with the female dog since she's in heat and dripping all over the carpet.  We tried diapers but she rips them off. We've been keeping Havoc in his crate a lot more since he won't be neutered until next month and I feel rather guilty about it. I've never had a female dog- does anyone have advice on how to better deal with her while she's in heat? She refuses to potty on a leash so there's been a lot of potty accidents in the house and she's also pretty agressive (maybe that has to do with being in heat as well???).
The other puppy, even for 12 weeks old, is also agressive. I don't believe I've ever seen such a young puppy act like he does. He's extremely food/toy territorial- Hackles come up, growling, barking, and biting/ latching on to the point of drawing blood. I've been reading a lot, but I could really use some advice with that as well. He's at least catching onto the potty training and there have been less accidents with him.
Because of my HOA laws my brother will be re-homing one dog... he hasn't decided which one yet, and I'm having a hard time deciding which dog I might be able to eventually handle and train more.
 Sorry for the long post/vent. I'm just completely overwhelmed at the moment...
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keanmu
Ontario, Canada
MH
Posts:450
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| 12/26/2012 12:11 PM |
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Sounds like a lot to put up with. Sounds like he's taken over your house and life.
I don't know what your brothers situation is but why the heck are you cleaning up after HIS dogs? If HE can't stop them chewing then HE needs to buy crates.
If he is going to rehome one them you should insist he makes the decision NOW, not in his own time, or you will make the decision for him. Just tell him one of them has to go and it has to go now, that you can't cope with all of them.
It's not nice for any dog to spend alot of time in a crate but it's Havocs house so HIS dogs should be crated the most not Havoc. Perhaps the one that's in heat should spend more time in a crate to save the mess on the carpets.
Tell him to buy her some nappies.
Honestly, has your brother got no respect for you or your house? I just couldn't imagine going into anyones house, even families, and allowing my dogs to have the run of the house, make a mess and chew things.
It's your house, him and his dogs should be there under your rules not his.
That's my rant.....sorry
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smatulewicz
Michigan
MH
Posts:1190
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| 12/26/2012 12:20 PM |
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Vent away, lady, you are having a ROUGH holiday. I can't even imagine dealing with the chaos on top of the holidays. You deserve a medal. We have considered getting another, and talk on and off about it being the right time...not being the right time. Then, when the husband gets on board I start to think about the space constricts of adding another...will it be as amazing as Bella is. I have no children, so I really put a lot of love into my furbabies...between the cat and Bella, would I have an equal amount of attention and affection to distribute without negatively affecting one (silly thoughts... silly). On top of, it seems our baby buffer is wearing thin as no one in the family has had children recently and the current grandkids/nieces/nephews/cousins are all getting pretty big. Eyes are starting to turn our way again in anticipation. We aren't ready yet, still too selfish with our time, but we talk about it more. A cat, two dogs, and adding a baby in the next year or two...phew (and I've been having absurd kitten cravings lately too lol)! A 4.5 year old GSP was just brought to our local humane society yesterday and its the first the husband agreed to consider fostering. I was so excited...would give us a feel for having two, and she was taken there due to a child having extreme allergies so she was decently started in training. I'm seasonally off of work until February so it was perfect. Well, I called to inquire a few minutes ago and she was already adopted. Happy to hear, but also a little bummed lol.
With the female in heat, Bella did not have any accidents in the house, but she was about 11 months so she was fully potty trained. At 9 months and being different breeds maybe she is not 100% potty trained yet? Are you just taking her out in the yard on leash to potty or going for a walk? I would imagine the sights and smells of a walk would prompt her to go...but just a little more work for...you...as it sounds like you are doing ALL the work here. You still have plenty of control on a leash walk in terms of her being exposed to other dogs. Purchase a cloth washable diaper (should have at any local pet or feed store) and some 99 cent panty liners at the drugstore. We bought two so we could always have one clean as sometimes the liners shifted and she did bleed onto the diaper. This saved us so many headaches, as disposable's tabs popped right off in minutes.
I don't have a lot of advice for the aggressive puppy as I have never had one. I can say we never allowed play to get too rough with Bella until she was older and learned more control. If she got too vocal we would end the play session and pay little to no attention to her for a bit. Puppies crave attention, so typically removing attention at unfavorable behavior is enough to temporarily end the issue...but grasping the long-term idea that it's because he was biting or being too rough...I'm not sure. My nephew dog has always been toy/treat possessive...despite all the work they tried with him...they ultimately just had to learn how to live around it in ways. It has gotten better with age, but not 100%
Good luck. Stay sane! |
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smatulewicz
Michigan
MH
Posts:1190
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| 12/26/2012 12:30 PM |
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PS - keanmu posted as I posted so I read it after and I FULLY agree with everything said. I understand family and doing all you can by them, but don't allow yourself to get walked over in the process. I also know, typically, if you want something done you have to do it yourself...but don't set yourself up for him to expect you to do everything. I also agree that his dogs should be crated and not Havoc. Also, my two cents on rehoming one...if he rehomes the female he needs to have her spayed first as wherever she goes may not do so, and there is really no reason for a mixed breed female not to spayed (that sounds way worse than I mean it...but..no nicer way to say it as there are plenty of mixed-breed pups out there that will be a great companion to someone but sitting in cages and waiting for homes). The female may end up being the easier one to deal with in the long run in terms of training as mals and shepherds are both highly intelligent...she may also be headstrong and dominant from those two breedings, but if dealt correctly, nothing wrong with that. I personally couldn't stand having an aggressive, bark obsessive, nippy, possessive dog...but the little pup is also still young enough to learn otherwise. Lab will make him want to please, but rotti may make him more difficult to train, more dominant and testy, and he will need to be socialized heavily as soon as possible (any dog should be, but IMO certain breeds that already have negative stereotypes should be socialized that much more to help them be well rounded and to protect them from ignorant people who will automatically behave differently around it just because of its breed).
OK, we ranted for you! Hope you get some time to breathe soon! Sending you a virtual hug lol |
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keanmu
Ontario, Canada
MH
Posts:450
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| 12/26/2012 1:08 PM |
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Been thinking....
I think he should find homes for BOTH dogs..........if he's in a no home situation he shouldn't have dogs, let alone puppies. They are both young enough and will be fine. He needs to sort himslef out before trying to raise a dog and he shouldn't be expecting you to do it for him.
Bit different if they are adult dogs and house trained etc but not a great situations for pups to be in.
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NSBoyd
Lower Northern Michigan
JH
Posts:37
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| 12/26/2012 1:50 PM |
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I agree with everyone else! The puppies should be his responsibility!
As for the dog in heat thing, I really recommend that your brother but a washable dog diaper (http://www.petco.com/product/112218/Petco-Washable-Dog-Diapers.aspx). You can tighten the velcros straps pretty tight and it makes it harder for her remove. As for aggressiveness during heat, we never experienced that. I do remember that Maggie would become a little more whiney and needy but that was it. Just like us ladies, everyone (every dog) experiences their cycles a little different. You should confine her to a tiled area of your house if she refuses to keep the diapers on.
Hopefully things get easier!!
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jyoung
Posts:15
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| 12/26/2012 2:58 PM |
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| Those dogs have a little different mind set they are very territorial it is very important they kno that you are the pack leader. Otherwise every thing is their toys not yours. |
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cynthiarose
COLORADO
MH
Posts:133
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| 12/26/2012 3:27 PM |
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Thanks for the feedback guys. It's a really tough situation. Basically, we're blood siblings, but he (and one other brother) was adopted out of foster care. His adopted family was irresponsible to say the least, both brothers have been in a lot of trouble. This one has been homeless for the past year or so (I didn't know this until a month ago). He's had some drug issues and basically the dogs were free so he took them because he felt like he had nothing else to call his own. He hasn't had a job and any side jobs he's had have been under the table and money went to feed the dogs and lord knows what else. He's clean now, but still jobless and just moved in last week. We're trying to get him employed, even if it's just day labor or temp work for right now.
As I said his adopted family was irresponsible. For 23 he has no sense of what being a responsible human being is. Doesn't pick up after himself or the dogs, doesn't have the slightest idea of what clean is, and quite frankly doesn't really know how to function in a "normal" family environment. We've talked a lot in the last week and I think we only agreed to let him keep one dog and aren't forcing him to get rid of both because maybe it will help with learning some responsibility and give him something to keep a bond with. I don't think I've ever seen a boy cry like he does when we talk about getting rid of the dogs, so I think it's really a huge deal for him- so maybe he's playing on my heart strings a little too.
I'll have to look into the washable diapers. I bought disposable ones, but she rips them off in a matter of seconds. We've been working with her in the crate as well, but it seems that she becomes even more agressive when she's in there. We've been taking her on walks to try to get her to potty. There was one day last week when my brother went out for a little while and so Mike and I took the opportunity to work with the dogs without my brothers influence. Foxxy was in the crate most of the day per my request and hadn't pottied at all, but was fed and had water. I spent 30 minutes walking her and Mike spent another 30-45 minutes, and nothing. My brother came home as Mike got back from their walk and I had him take her for another 30 minutes. Still nothing. My brother brought her back inside and just as I was telling him to put her back into the crate, she squatted.  It's been a major battle with her. I've watched her and she doesn't even sniff or anything to give a sign she's got to go. She'll be running and playing and just squat.
Diesel does ok and will potty outside when you take him out, but my brother needs to watch and learn the signs that he has to go out. I think this is the only place where he's failing with potty training the little one. |
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Splat
Illinois (Northern)
MH
Posts:3134
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| 12/27/2012 6:44 AM |
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| I feel for you and your brother is probably lucky to have you... you will go through lots of rough times but hopefully good things will come... I think him have a dog and bonding with it and learning to care and be responsible for it is a good thing and probably a positive thing for him... but one dog is probably better than having 2... I think I might lean more towards the younger one as it isn't so set in its ways yet and training might be easier as would bonding with it... or maybe he would be interested in getting rid of both of those dogs but adopting one that is potty trained... |
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cynthiarose
COLORADO
MH
Posts:133
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| 12/27/2012 3:19 PM |
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I think my brother decided to re-home the female dog. She's becoming more and more visually depressed and stares at the windows and doors non-stop. When she goes out, she doesn't want to come back in. She's used to be outside and since I don't have a fenced yard we can't allow her to be out unless one of us is with her on a walk. I won't let my brother take his dogs to a dog park until they've got shots. I'm taking enough of a chance having them around Havoc. There isn't really anywhere else he can take them off-leash just to run.
I am really hoping that keeping one dog will work as therapy in a way for him and help him transition. Mike and I already discussed keeping it even if my brother relapses and this doesn't work out. I just really hope it doesn't come to that. |
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smatulewicz
Michigan
MH
Posts:1190
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| 12/27/2012 3:58 PM |
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| Dogs aside, I wish you the best. I know how very difficult it is to have to find the balance of loved one and stern tough love. I worked two years with parents battling drug abuse who had lost their children as a result and this will unfortunately not be an easy or a temporary battle he is dealing with, and many lose despite wanting better for themselves (not to dishearten you, but he has to realize this for himself and only himself to make any change stick). It is unfortunately a vicious cycle and I hate to hear that what could have been a changing and saving home for him did him wrong as well. I stepped away and began doing photography because my health was suffering and it wasn't work I could chat with anyone about and it just sits and weighs you down, so If you ever need to vent non dog related feel free to private message me anytime. |
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Smylinacha
Connecticut
MH
Posts:1208
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| 12/27/2012 6:33 PM |
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| I wish you the best! Very hard living with other family members and I am glad he is sober now. Economy stinks but hopefully he can find something....anything..... I know the feeling. My 23 yr old son just graduated college and is unemployed and feels lost. I cant wait for the holidays to be done to get back to a sense of normal and he can hopefully go find a job. As for the female in heat, try the washable velcro diapers and put maxi pad inside of them. Windsor is not fixed and when Velvet went into heat last year, she was kenneled a lot. I was sick of peeing accidents, she was overly needy and I could not constantly clean up blood in the house. Maybe he can kennel her instead of you kenneling your dog? |
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cynthiarose
COLORADO
MH
Posts:133
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| 01/02/2013 1:04 PM |
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Because I know some people have Pm'd me about this situation I just wanted to give an update. We're still actively seeking a home for Foxxy and we are keeping Diesel. My brother has his first job interview today so I'm really hoping that he stays motivated.
Yesterday I got a fantastic New Year's surprise and a local shelter contacted me. They are going to pay to get both Foxxy and Diesel fixed and UTD on shots, as well as microchipping them both! I was in tears. The last three weeks have been hell and I've been trying to scrounge up the cash to get both dogs vaccinated and fixed (nearly $200 each even at a shelter clinic) and still pay for Havocs neuter. My brother will be volunteering a few days at the shelter to say thanks (I will too if my work schedule allows - hard with 2 jobs). |
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everbell
Kanata, ON
MH
Posts:3165
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| 01/02/2013 3:03 PM |
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| That's awesome news. Let's hope the New Year continues as it started. |
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Joce and Rich
Bogart and Shiraz (GSPs)
Roxane (RIP: 1995-2009) and Tiger Lily (Cats)
The Everbell Adventures |
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smatulewicz
Michigan
MH
Posts:1190
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| 01/02/2013 4:48 PM |
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| Great news to take a little weight off your shoulders! Hang in there. |
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Smylinacha
Connecticut
MH
Posts:1208
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| 01/02/2013 6:17 PM |
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Such good news for the dogs and you  Hope your brother finds work soon too! |
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NixiesMark
Texas
MH
Posts:120
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| 01/02/2013 7:34 PM |
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| That's so great they wanted to do that for you! I'm so sorry you've had to go through all this during the Holiday season. I hope things continue to get better for you all! |
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Splat
Illinois (Northern)
MH
Posts:3134
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| 01/03/2013 6:30 AM |
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| That is great news! I hope the interview goes well and that he will enjoy volunteering at the shelter... I know how brother issues go though mine still doesn't admit to having a problem and blames everything on everyone else... |
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gsplover
Houston, Tx.
MH
Posts:382
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| 01/03/2013 11:27 PM |
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I hope everything works out for you and your family. What a mess!! You are in my thoughts and prayers. |
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"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog.
You are his life, his love, his leader.
He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart.
You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion."
-- Unknown |
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