How to prepare for a puppy!
Pour cold Apple juice on the carpet in several places & walk around barefoot in the dark.
Wear a sock to work that has had toes shredded by a blender.
Immediately upon waking, stand outside in the rain & dark saying, "Be a good puppy, go potty now, hurry up, come on, let's go!"
Cover all your best suits with dog hair. Dark suits must use white hair, & white suits must use dark hair.
Also float some hair in your 1st cup of coffee in the morning.
Play "catch" with a wet tennis ball.
Run out in the snow in your bare feet to close the gate.
Tip over a basket of clean clothes & spread them all over the floor.
Leave your underwaer on the livingroom floor because that's where the dog will drag them anyway. (Especially when you have company)
Jump out of your chair shortly before the end of your favorite TV program & run to the door shouting, "No, no! Do that outside!" & miss the end of the program.
Put chocolate pudding on the carpet in the morning & don't try to clean it up till you return from work that evening.
Gouge the leg of the diningroom table several times with a screw driver because it's going to get chewed on anyway.
Take a warm & cuddly blanket out of the dryer & immediately wrap it around yourself. This is the feeling you'll get when your puppy falls asleep in your lap!